“Jesus loves the little children…”

Oh Jesus Fucking Christ. Just what in the hell is wrong with our neighbors in Alabama? It turns out folks knew for years “Judge” Roy Moore had this thing for teenage girls, getting blackballed from malls and the YMCA and such, yet they kept voting him in as their DA and state supreme court chief justice. Just what part of “traditional family values” does it make okey-dokey to seek “dates” from teen women who have to get permission from their mothers? Any Facebook friends from that state who might be offended by my anger here can just stuff it. I’m friggin’ sick and tired of Republicans and “conservatives” lecturing us about those vaunted family values. Practice what y’all preach or bless yo’ flint hearts, just shut the fuck up!

My moral indignity hardly ends there. The Russiagate scandal is getting juicier, and it might be sweet Donald J. Trump, Jr., who brings down our Orange Overlord and his illicit, corrupt regime. (Hoodathunk it would be Junior who’d be the dumb “Fredo,” and not Eric?) The Trump campaign made huge stinks about Hillary’s emails. Hey, how about JUNIOR’s emails with WikiLeaks? Lock HIM up! Lock HIM up!

And, hey, speaking of failed Alabamians, I need to update my joke about liars in office. Substitute “Attorney General Jefferson Beleaguered Sessions III” for “President* Trump” in the following: “Q: How can you tell when President* Trump is lying? A: When his lips are moving.” Once again, our Ku Klux Keebler AG was dragged into a Congressional hearing to testify about his misdeeds as our nation’s top cop, and once again he dissembled, distracted, failed to remember, and lied, lied, lied. Iffin’ liddle’ Jeffie isn’t careful, he might wind up sharing the fate of a past AG, Nixon’s crooked John N. Mitchell. The elfin prevaricator might have himself a truly swell time as a new boy toy in a Club Fed.

All together now, “Jesus loves the little children…”

John Pierce
Starving cartoonist sans portfolio. Native Angeleno but I'll be mellow when I dead (thanks, Al Yankovic). I live to bully bullies!