It’s NEVER been forbidden to say “Merry Christmas”

The Christmas Warriors never let this tiresome bit of whining rest; there’s some idiotic pro-Trump fringe group posting Internet videos of a pwecious widdle girl thanking our Orange Overlord for somehow magically allowing us to say “Merry Christmas” once again. Yes, seriously.

You know, sure, there are some socially aware businesses that stress to their “associates” that wishing customers a “Happy Holidays” is a tad more inclusive and considerate, yes. But there has never been any ban on directly greeting people with the more Christian holiday phrase, “Merry Christmas.” Not at least since the 1690s, when Puritans were in charge of some of the colonies, and they didn’t celebrate Christmas. It’s always been a rightful option. It’s utter nonsense to claim otherwise, and to buffalo people with the fiction that our esteemed Hypocrite-in-Chief has made it okey-dokey again insults intelligence.

Out of spite I’ve wished people like Donnie Dollfingers and his expedient ilk a “Happy [Friggin’] Holidays,” because I know it gets them all self-righteous and cheesed off. But you know what? Tomorrow I’m attending a Christmas party hosted by some dear Protestant friends and I won’t recoil for a second whenever I hear someone say “Merry Christmas.” Sunday I’m visiting my very Catholic Stepmom for my annual Christmas celebration, and at no time will I beef about her wishing her kids a “Merry Christmas.” I’ll even wish a “Merry Christmas” to people I know are good practicing Christians.

I prefer “Happy Holidays.” It covers more faiths and doesn’t make anyone needlessly more important. It might help the offended Christmas Warriors to remember just what their mythical savior was himself… Yup. That’s right. Jesus was a Jew, all his purported existence. Do yourselves a small favor. Don’t bristle at someone wishing folks “happy holidays.” There is no war on Christmas. You so-called Christians won it centuries back.

John Pierce
Starving cartoonist sans portfolio. Native Angeleno but I'll be mellow when I dead (thanks, Al Yankovic). I live to bully bullies!