Oh, darn. Looks like I’m missing the big SOTU tomorrow after all!

I’m due to visit my Stepmom (and perhaps perform a tad of sweat equity) tomorrow, on the BIG DAY of our Orange Overlord’s likely ONLY State of the Union address. (My stepmom isn’t crazy about Dear Tweeter and she likes politics even less.) But just call me Nostradamus, as I’m predicting it’ll be the ugliest, snidest, most horrifying SOTU ever delivered to our august body of both chambers of Con-Gre$$. Raving white supremacist Stephen KKK Miller is reported to be Donnie Dollfingers’ chief speech writer, so expect lots of scapegoating, fearmongering, and dog whistling throughout Deplorable Don’s tedious tirade. I’m sure MSNBC will have postgame coverage that’ll just beat it to death, so it’s likely I’ll still wind up being tormented by the ugliness.

Avoid any drinking games that involve imbibing whenever Donnie Doublescoops lies; you’ll risk fatal alcohol poisoning. Maybe next year’s SOTU featuring the also soon to be doomed Mike Pence will be a tad more tolerable.

John Pierce
Starving cartoonist sans portfolio. Native Angeleno but I'll be mellow when I dead (thanks, Al Yankovic). I live to bully bullies!

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